Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog

Is this little guy not absolutely great!? Click on the post's title to go to his website. Yes, the dog has his own website, I kid you not.

Oh, Sweet Naïveté...

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
na·ive·té /nɑivˈteɪ, -ˌivəˈteɪ, -ˈivteɪ, -ˈivə-/ Pronunciation Key - Spelled Pronunciation[nah-eev-tey, -ee-vuh-tey, -eev-tey, -ee-vuh-] –noun

1. the quality or state of being naive; natural or artless simplicity.
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I like that. "Artless simplicity."

In a nutshell, that is my dog, Winston. Well, that, and I'd say a bit of gluttony & obliviousness as well. Sounds like a maddeningly lovely little dog personality casserole, huh? No, but seriously, he's impossibly adorable & a really loving little guy... he's happy as a freaking clam just taking life moment by moment, to the extreme. No plans. No ulterior motives. No places to be. No worries. Nada. Nothing. He's just here, and HAPPY to just BE. I'm extremely jealous, to be quite honest...

Anyway, what made me think of this is a little ritual that happens numerous times every night. Either Mattie or I (Winston only on the rare occasion - tsk, tsk...) will decide that it's time for the 2 of them to go outside & pee & poo & do all that fun stuff dogs are supposed to do outside -- an action which usually involves removing one or more of said dogs from the couch where they are snoozing away, or separating them while they play & growl & bark so loud that someone (ahem!) can't hear the TV over THEM!!!! Little shits.

You'll notice I mentioned that Winston rarely is the one to call an need-to-go-outside bathroom alert, right? Okay. Because of this, he just hangs out, goes about his day of simply being & not giving a damn. Suddenly, he hears the word, "......OUTSIDE.....", which must trigger some hyperactive, spastic, giddy, over-eager, me-me-me, hysterics-eliciting lobe of the canine brain somewhere in that tough little noggin & he just goes nuts... Absolutely fucking NUTS... as in "WHYDIDN'TITHINKOFTHISBEFORE!!! WESHOULDBEOUTSIDE!!! ALREADYHURRYSTEPONIT!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!! OUTSIDE!!! EXCITED!!! OUTSIDEOUTSIDEOUTSIDE!!!!"-type of nuts... which then causes him to flail his entire 23+ lb. body at the window portion of my backdoor (I'm just waiting for his fat little ass to bust the glass, I swear!) as he proceeds to [over]act as if being on the other side of that door is the one & only thing in the world that he must do at that moment & he has wanted this so badly for so long & just knows that he has to be there NOW!!! (Mind you, mere seconds before, he was likely dead asleep) Aaaaargh!!! Then, the door opens, he gets what he thinks he wants, & he's immediately perfectly content & happy again. Pacified. Satiated. Life is so easy. No forethought. No planning. No worries. Life rolls along. Things just seem to happen for Winston. He's a happening kind of guy, I guess. Lucky dog.

"Artless Simplicity". It's right there in my sweet Winston. Now, how about some "ArtFUL Simplicity"? Either way, it's a lovely thing to see...

Best Used When Sober.

Last year for Christmas, my parents got me a really sharp set of J.A. Henckels knives. You'll see why this is important later.

This past Saturday, we went to a post-wedding fish fry for my friend, Bryan. No, their wedding reception was not a fish fry, it was just a party after they were married. Anyway, afterwards, the whole group ended up moving to Art's Shed House (local bar) to see the Zettler Brothers play, spend time with old friends, & drink some cold beer. You know, just good stuff all around. [Well, except for the girlfriend of one of my friends who was hit in the head with a beer bottle by another girl at the end of the night to the tune of seven staples -- count 'em, S-E-V-E-N -- for being a "North Face preppie", or something along those lines...] So Jon & I get home after a nice, fun, rather beer- & alcohol-fueled night out in the Queen City when we decide that we're hungry & just about the only thing that I have to eat in my house is a big ol' hunk of summer sausage & cheese -- perfect for a drunk-munchies fix.

This is where those good ol' sharp knives come into play. Jon was actually cutting the cheese (*giggles*) when he cut himself, so I went into action like Florence Nightingale, doctored his finger up, & sent him off to bed. Well, I was still hungry, so I decided to pull out yet another one of my awesome knives (hey, at least I had the foresight not to use his bloodied knife, right?) & slice myself off a piece of sausage.

Wrong. And oh, how wrong it was! I proceeded to not only slice the living hell out of my left index finger, but also nip the middle finger as well!!! Blood is pouring. Picture me in my kitchen, half-drunk (the slice was somewhat of a sobering moment, but not completely), trying to bandage up this cut that continues to bleed & bleed & bleed & bleed.... well, you get the idea. Everything within a 5-foot radius of my sink had some kind of blood on it -- spatters, drops, smears, you name it. Put it this way: when Jon asked me where the rest of the sausage went that I was cutting on, I told him he was welcome to pull the bloody meat out of the trash if he really, really wanted it. He declined.

Needless to say, it most likely needed to stitches, but who has the time & patience to actually GO and get them!? Especially on a weekend, AND when the Saints were playing in the playoffs the next day (sadly, not victoriously -- sniff, sniff). Plus, you can't bitch about it as much if you get it fixed correctly, right? So I just butterfly-bandaged that bitch up & covered it with what I like to call my "finger condom" (with a reservoir tip, of course), as you can see below:
Nice, huh? You know you're jealous of my finger condom. But anyway.... the point of my story is this: J.A. Henckels makes some damn sharp knives & some mighty fine cutlery if anyone is in the market. Not only am I an owner, but I am also a victim.

"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. All of us. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Nelson Mandela, 1994~

Wise Words from a Wise Friend.

"Liquor is my liquor of choice."

Well said, Meredith, very well said indeed... (above, dressed as Wilma Flintsone for Halloween 2006)

Sell-Out Saban...

It's hard to trust a man who is this full of shit... Not that I really care -- I hope Alabama get crushed & the Dolphins rock. The same way I'm glad the San Diego Chargers are better than the New York Giants due to the fact that Eli Manning needed his daddy beside him after the draft didn't go the way he wanted. And mostly because I'm a spiteful bitch.

It's a Football Fiesta!

Those few days of each year chock-full of FOOTBALL & bowl games are glorious -- when there is nary an hour that passes without being able to flip on the telly & watch a good ol' game of the pigskin... (Though I could -- and probably WILL -- create one hell of an editorial regarding the amount of bowl games there are nowadays, & how it takes away from the honor & pride of being a bowl contender -- not to mention, enough with the names! No more "Peach" Bowl? I mean, WTF!? But more on that later, along with my fantasy football drama...)

Anway... Did anyone out there watch the Fiesta Bowl? (I'm sorry -- the TOSTITOS Fiesta Bowl) The favored Oklahoma Sooners vs. the Boise State Broncos. Not a game that I thought I would be particularly interested in, to tell you that truth, but that game ended up having everything that you could ask for in a great football game:

• Interceptions galore
• Creative plays (lateral passes, fakes, etc.)
• Significant lead followed by a quick comeback
• Tied @ the end of regulation so it went into OT
• 7 points scored on the first possession of overtime
• Risky 2-point conversion attempt on the answer
• The underdog (Boise State) wins!!!

And finally... while Boise State Running Back Ian Johnson was being interviewed after the game, he was standing there with his Boise State cheerleader girlfriend -- almost so perfect that it's cliche', right?... And then, after he talks about the game, he proceeds get down on one knee and proposes. Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm soooo not the stereotypical sappy, dying-to-get-married-and-have-a-baby-as-soon-as-possible (definitely NOT right now, at least!), Lifetime Movie-addicted, chick-lit reading, fairy tale kind of girl (uh, is there something wrong with me?), but that was damn sweet. But good for them, you know?

I mean, people... I don't care if you love or hate football, are a manly-man or a girly-girl, whatever -- this had it all! I have not enjoyed a football game this much in a long time! (let me clarify: I have not enjoyed a football game this much that I was not attending in person in a long time!) Good game, good game.