Monday, January 28, 2008

Chuck Norris...

These never, ever get old to me. Ever...
  • "As a child, and to this day, Chuck Norris enjoys playing 'throw-n-catch' with his old man. Or as we know it, lightning and thunder."
  • "The Ebola virus, the deadliest virus known to man, can be found deep in the African rainforest, hiding from Chuck Norris."
  • "Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and WON!"
  • "Chuck Norris cannot be toilet paper, because Chuck does not take shit from anyone."
  • "When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
  • "If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you."
  • "Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip."
  • "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it."
  • "Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
  • "Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris."
  • "Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick-related deaths have increased 13,000 percent."
  • "Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat."
  • "Chuck Norris's calender goes from march 31st to april 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris."
  • "Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter."
  • "Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game UNO."
  • "On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun."
  • "In the beginning there was nothing... then Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked that nothing in the face and said, 'Get a job'. That is the story of the universe."
  • "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."
  • "Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany."
  • "Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks."
  • "The tower in Pisa is leaning because of a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
  • "Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough."
  • "Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: 'Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris'."
  • "Chuck Norris could run for President and win. But Chuck Norris runs for no man."
  • "There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well, it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious."
  • "Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."
  • "Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he roundhouse-kicked the deputy."


Sunday, January 27, 2008

good job, meridian star...

Jon & some other guys won the gumbo cook-off at the downtown Meridian Mardi Gras yesterday -- and let me tell you, it was gooood stuff... However, our wonderful local newspaper has ANOTHER TEAM listed as winning "for the 3rd straight year" -- which was just plain wrong. Great job, guys... "Truth in reporting", right? Riiiiight...

At least the TV station got it right (especially considering several of the winners work there!)... Congratulations, Krewe de Mercredi Nuit (Wednesday Night)!!!

*** UPDATE ***
The Meridian Star got its story from a member on the other team, so he told her they won (false). The paper ran a retraction and a front page color pic of the Merceedi Nuit winners!!!! Much betta'...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

did hell freeze over?

Nope, it's just the snow in Mississippi!!!
Seriously, it only snows here once every few years or so (if that), and so it becomes major news for us Southerners... I can remember being a little kid and, if it snowed, the ENTIRE day was devoted to playing outside in the snow. Yep, day-long recess. All because it snowed. How sad is that? It's just such a rarity that we have to take full advantage of it! (at least it happened over the weekend and was pretty much gone by the next day -- so we got to enjoy the novelty of it without having to deal with the potentially ugly aftermath that would surely ensure if you keep Mississippians around snow for too terribly long!)


Thursday, January 17, 2008


Wow. I was just reading back through some old posts and found this one I wrote just 13 days before Hurricane Katrina hit: could it be possible?


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Quite possibly the GREATEST thing ever...

The Baobab Pub in Limpopo, South Africa, built into the trunk of a naturally hollow 6,000-year old Baobab tree...
"A bar inside the trunk of a Baobab tree has tourists flocking from far and wide just to drink a cold brew in the amazing tavern. It was fashioned inside a massive 72 foot (22 meters) high tree in a garden in Limpopo, South Africa, for thirsty locals..."
And now, I have a very good reason to travel to South Africa.


Only men...

The other night, I was watching the Giants-Cowboys game with 3 members of the male species. As it was almost time for dinner, naturally the conversation turned to ideas for what to eat. Being the only girl present (which is actually not out of the ordinary at all), I decided to keep my mouth shut and let them figure this one out on their own (not to mention, I'm no cook!). After much brainstorming, several options were tossed about -- all involving some sort of meat, of course -- and with a little bit of teamwork and some creativity, the guys were able to come with this healthy & delicious meal: hot dogs stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. A heart attack on a paper plate, people.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

random sh*ts & giggles & plain ol' stuff...

  • Go Packers!!!! All the way to the Superbowl...... Love me some Brett Favre...
  • Current Nail Color: ELECTRIC BLUE
  • I slept from Thursday night until Saturday mid-morning (35 hours) non-stop, only waking up to puke my guts out one good time. I now have an appt. with an internist to find out WHY this shit happens to me... Ugh.
  • Kept having the most ViViD dreams and waking up sweaty, though it wasn't hot at all. Fever, perhaps? But man, those dreams were crazy....
  • Watched an odd but good little movie today: Year of the Dog
  • I have no idea who I'm voting for & that scares me...
  • Why does that Audrina girl from 'The Hills' always look drugged, like her eyeballs don't sit right in her head?
  • I was helping Jon fold a load of his clothes tonight and stumbled upon something I have never seen before: a perfectly-preserved, washed, and dried Cheeto. Yes, a CHEETO.

Monday, January 07, 2008

So accurate, it's eerie...

We all get these email forwards every now & then, but this horoscope email was freakishly & amusingly appropriate for this Aquarian (i.e. me):

AQUARIUS -- Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. Can be clumbsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy, and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Love their pets usually more then their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, but will Knock your lights out.


Saturday, January 05, 2008

get well soon, little buddy!!!

Poor little Winston has been a bit under the weather these past few days. {Here's the poop, if you're interested in what's ailing him...} But thanks to frequent doses of Benadryl and Panalog, I think/hope he's feeling better and on the mend!


whiny bitch...

I hate this time of year. I really do. Not Christmas, but POST-Christmas, New Year's, and after. It just depresses me. The decorations come down, family goes home, we go back to work, the "merry" time is over. The new year brings with it all of the "looking back" and facing the reality of just how quickly the years of our lives pass by. All the things that happened, all the things that didn't happen... The closing of a chapter... Hmph.

I guess I'm just too much of a cynical sentimentalist to enjoy the feeling this time of year evokes. Just call me the New Year's Grinch.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

it's fricking freezing in here, mr. bigglesworth...

The projected low tonight is 19 degrees... NINETEEN DEGREES!!!??? We little ol' Miss'ippians just aren't accustomed to cold like this!!! My question is, why can't this EVER happen during Christmas? {sigh}