Thursday, November 29, 2007

bah. humbug? or, not... ? i'm not quite sure.

Allow me to introduce you to my updated Yahoo! avatar at left. She is attempting to be festive... despite the fact that I have [shamefully] not yet put up my Christmas tree. I am usually that person who is wanting to get the damn thing erected before Thanksgiving arrives, but things just seem busier this year for some reason. And I haven't been ready. Or we haven't had time. Maybe Thanksgiving was just too early? Or the cruise threw me off...

Whatever... the point is that the damn thing (i.e. the tree) still isn't up. And I need a stronger dose of the holiday spirit. Pass the fucking egg nog.

The Ay-Tee-El...

Jon should be very proud of me: I happened upon 2 tickets to the SEC Championship game (LSU vs. Tennessee) in Atlanta this weekend!!! I know we've been out of town a good bit lately, but come on, how can you pass that up!? So on the road again it is... Woo-hoo.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

thankfully rested...

Jon & I did something a little different this year for Thanksgiving -- WE WENT ON A CRUISE!!! We spent the weekend in Orange Beach with mi familia (one pic above, one below) before hopping aboard a ship in Mobile and getting the eff out of dodge... and let me tell you, it was fan-fucking-tastic (if I do say so myself)...
Contrary to the way it may seem, the timing of the trip was not indicative in any way of us attempting to skip out on Thanksgiving cooking -- as many who know me and my culinary prowess might initially think -- it was just the best week we could both swing it. (Jon actually enjoys cooking -- gasp!). No ulterior motives.... this time. But don't think I won't consider it again in the future now that I've learned! I swear, think I probably gained 10 lbs. (at least?) in the past week! Ahhh, gluttony... For those of you who have never been on a cruise, you must know one thing: the food is delicious and ENDLESS!!! 24-hour pizza bar? Dangerous. And the dinners ain't half-bad either, as evidenced by the ever-present food coma (see below). Yes, that really was as far as he got:We made stops in Cozumel (where we drank) and Calica, Mexico (where we road 4-wheelers on the beach and through the jungle), and the rest of the time we were somewhere in the Caribbean. Something about being on a boat in the middle of nowhere is so relaxing and stress-free. Even if someone needs you, what can you do, right? And when you've got origami "towel animals" greeting you every night, how can you go wrong!? I admit it, I'm a total sucker for them, falling right into their grubby little hands -- whoever came up with that great marketing gem was a genius.....

And now for some obligatory pictures (always my favorite part): Of course, a good time was had by all... and while it's always good to GO, it's also just as good to get HOME.


Saturday, November 24, 2007


been gone. am back. will update soon. :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Fairy Tale.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

With these informative details, they are sure to catch him in no time!!!

12:00 p.m. Inmate walks off job site
Meridian, Mississippi -- November 15, 2007

20 minutes ago a Meridian city inmate walked off a work detail on Hwy. 39 North at the Meridian Little Theatre.

Described as a tall black male in an orange jump suit.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sick Fucker(s).

Someone I work with received a call today from his father saying that he had found my co-worker's dachshund in his yard, blown to bits by a rifle. Shot not once, but twice. Obviously not an accident. And to make matters worse, the dog actually belonged to my co-worker's son.

Hearing this actually just made the blood drain out of my face in horror and disgust and I am now literally sick to my stomach. I mean, what kind of sorry son-of-a-bitch does something like that? Seriously? I consider my pets to be like family members. You hurt mine, you can absolutely expect me to hurt yours -- or even better, you.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I'm sorry to laugh about a death, but......

Man Dies After Getting Stuck in Girlfriend’s Cat Door
Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A woman in Florida made a startling discovery over the weekend when she found her boyfriend stuck in her house’s cat door, reported.

The girlfriend of Charles Tucker Jr., 33, had reportedly kicked him out of her St. Augustine home. Hours later, she found the man stuck in the small door and called police. When they arrived four minutes later, the man was dead, reported.

"He's a big guy. I don't even know how he could fit through there," Tucker’s friend, Will Elliot told "Probably to get in and unlock the door. They said he had one arm through there and his head was caught in there like he was to reach up and unlock the door because there's no way he could fit through there."

Cops are currently awaiting autopsy results.


Friday, November 09, 2007


"Ah! the clock is always slow; / It is later than you think." ~Robert Service

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Wise, wise Onion...

Sunday, November 04, 2007


Oct 31 Pat Yansinkas, of The Charlotte Observer, reports Carolina Panthers WR Dwayne Jarrett was talking to two reporters about his struggles this season. WR Steve Smith said to Jarrett "Instead of talking to the media, why don't you go watch some film?" Jarrett smiled and continued to talk, which prompted Smith to say in a strong tone, "Seriously."

Thursday, November 01, 2007

wikipedia surfing...

i haven't done enough of this lately... and i'm already hooked again!!! just a few items for funsies:

Big Lurch -- "In April 2002, Singleton murdered Tynisha Ysais in her apartment while under the influence of PCP... Teeth marks were found on her face and lungs, which had been torn from her chest. Eyewitnesses reported that when Singleton was picked up by police, he was naked in the middle of the street, covered in blood and staring at the sky. A medical examination performed shortly after his capture found human flesh in his stomach which was not his own."
Angel Dust
punding... punding... punding...
International Headache Society -- I should be an honorary member...
People From Mississippi
Jean Lanfray -- "Swiss Family Murderer"
Andy Warhol -- Who knew he died of water intoxication?