Christmas Grinch.

Christmas Grinch. Yep. That was me. Well... sort of.

I'm not quite sure what it was this year, but the merry, merry, merry gleeful giddiness & warm feelings of nostalgia that I exhibit during the Christmas season just never hit me this year (& you can see how pumped-up my mom was by the picture at left!). Don't get me wrong -- I really had a wonderful & undeservedly lovely Christmas, but usually I personally wallow in - nay, relish - the weeks leading up to the holidays, & it just didn't happen to me this year. No substantial tacky Christmas light/display family alcohol-fueled scavenger hunts... no time to do enough of the in-depth shopping & treasure-hunting (mind you, Jon did absolutely woooonderful for me! I'll have to detail that more later!)... no major get-togethers w/ out-of-town friends, no "Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas" viewing (fear not -- I got in plenty of "Christmas Vacation" & "A Christmas Story", so I'll survive...), no [major] family drama, none of the traditions were there. IT CREPT UP ON ME & I FEEL LIKE I MISSED IT, DAMMIT!

So I'm pissed. Now it will be another year before I get the chance to prove that I am not a total Scrooge and, quite selfishly, to really take advantage of the holidays! I'm mad at myself for letting it get away so quickly this year! Again, dammit.

On a positive note, I got to spend time with my cousin's boys, Thomas (the 3-3/4 year old) and Matthew (the 1-1/2 year old)... It's nice to actually be able to communicate w/ Thomas now on some semblance of a mature level. My sweet baby Matthew (hee, hee...), on the other hand, REFUSES TO BE STILL. Ever. It's not that he's bad at all (see left - I mean, can anything about that sweet thing be bad?), but I can see how he could be utterly exhausting. He's just active at all fucking times. Seriously. All the time. A-L-W-A-Y-S. Luckily, he just casually & cheerfully sort of does his own thing & entertains himself. Mom says he's like I used to be, only he acts happy. Nice. Gotta love a good ol' maternal hit below the belt... Wouldn't be Christmas without one (or ten)!

But seriously, is he not the cutest thing ever? That picture to the right is the expression on his face while watching his brother play with his new train set -- he was just that happy to see his brother happy! I'm sorry, but that is just adorable. You know there really is goodness in people when you see such a precious, kind & pure reaction like that. And who knew I would ever be singing the praises of children? I mean, ME? Let's all give me a hand... ha.

Okay, enough of my rambling about babies. Just watching Catherine take care of them was exhausting to me! So here's a picture of Jon and me late on Christmas Eve (and yes, my face looks as round as a moonpie thanks to a steroid to get rid of a cold mixed w/ a steady holiday diet of sugars, fats, lards, carbs, butter, salt, etc... I'm aware of it. Though my mom has been kind enough to remind me.). Merry Fucking Christmas:

I'll rant & rave & ramble more later... Yeah, no doubt... ;)