The REAL reason Nicole Richie can't gain weight...

(drum roll please.... I said DRUM ROLL, dammit!!!!)

The real reason that Nicole Richie cannot gain weight has now become glaringly obvious: she must be too stupid to eat. (Click the post title for the complete story) I mean, what kind of dumbass comes to a dead stop -- going the wrong way, no less -- in the carpool lane on an L.A. freeway at 1:45 a.m. to talk on her cell phone? Seriously, no matter how fucked-up you are? What an asshat...

My favorite excerpt from the news article is this, which makes me giggle:

"As the Smoking Gun pointed out, Richie's booking sheet from 2003 listed her as being one inch taller and five pounds heavier. In the intervening years, Richie's racial classification also changed. In 2003, she was listed as being white. On Monday, she was noted as being black."

Nicole, just pick a color, any color......... and eat a damn sandwich.