The End Is Near.

See that counter there to the left? Yeah, that's the countdown to the end of my 20's. It hurts my old heart to see that. 30 YEARS OLD tomorrow!!! I'm absolutely dreading it. I just never really thought about actually turning 30 & what it would feel like, or that it would bother me so damn much. (Go ahead, say something about me needing to hurry up & get married & have kids, I dare you.)

I've tried to bring others down with me (am I sweet or what?), but it's just not working... Said stuff to my mom about it being 30 years ago tomorrow since she had me... Said things to my boyfriend about him being older than me... Said stuff to friends who have already turned 30 to try to rile them up... NO ONE SEEMS FAZED BY THIS BUT ME!!! [then again, perhaps that should tell me something!] I did have one wise friend say that, "It's all fun & games until it happens to you." Katie, honey, you were so right. Even the odometer on my car appears to be taunting me (2.7.77 is my birthday). There is no escape!!! Aaaargh!!! "It's all just a state of mind." "It's just another day." "Age is just a number." Yeah, yeah, yeah... spare me and let me wallow in my misery, thank you.

Anyway... so there you have it. I'm officially [about to be] old. Sometimes, I start telling stories & realize halfway into them that they happened more than a decade ago or worse -- 2-1/2 decades ago!!! As of tomorrow, I will have had my driver's license for 15 years -- the same amount of time I spent NOT having one! I am 4 years older than my mom was when I was born & crying children still give me the willies (there's a maternal instinct in here somewhere, I'm just sure of it). As my friend Mary Catherine used to say, "How can I BE the baby if I HAVE a baby?" [Mind you, she's about to have a little girl literally any day now, so that one doesn't hold much water anymore!]... I woke up the other morning & sat up to the tune of about 50 some odd joints in my body popping. And popping LOUDLY... I'm about to have Lasik surgery because I have to squint just to see the guide on the TV screen! I'm a blind, old bat... I could go on & on... but despite all of that, I'M STILL HERE. There's something to be said for that, right?

Just going by the one moment that seems to decide whether you are old or not: Yes, I remember where I was when the Challenger exploded. So there it is, I'm old. CHEERS!