Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Changed.

I hate to admit it, but I have. Changed, that is. So many things have happened to me in the past year -- nay, 2 or 3 years -- that I can't help but be changed by them. Changed for the better? Well, now, that I don't know about...

I think there is an added bit of skepticism, disappointment and fear in me now. I'm not quite sure I know who or what to trust because not everyone or everything is as they/it seemed to be. I am now officially JADED. It scares me to feel like I may not have all of the answers, even though I know I shouldn't have all of the answers. Life is not about having all of the answers to all of the questions, but rather, about your search for them, right? That is the journey.

I never have been one who liked change -- and that is a lot of what I have gotten lately. I'm a traditionalist at heart. Change scares me. Change has flipped my world upside down. Change has, well, changed me. And to that, I say this: "Pbbbbbbbttt!!!"

Perhaps I just had it too easy for too long? Or am I having yet another one of my famous pity parties? Or rather, pity BASHES!? Either way, I just want to slap myself and say, "Quit feeling sorry for yourself -- you have it so good"... but somehow, I just can't do it. Ho-hum... but enough of my bitching.

Sounds like I need to work on my faith and trust, huh? Sounds like something, anyway...

3 Comments:

Blogger Memphis Steve said...

I know how you feel. I'm jaded, too. I don't know where I am anymore. I just don't care and I don't believe anyone or anything.

12:54 AM  
Blogger *the queen* said...

It's an ugly, ugly feeling... but not hopeless at least!!!! :)

11:35 PM  
Blogger Mother Goose said...

I swear I still read. I just never comment. Bad friend.

What's going on? I need an update.

I love your celeb look alikes. Unfortunately, I have tried this and given up twice on account of my slow connection speed and impatience. Could you just do it for me? But please lord do not use that picture of me freshman year where I have bangs growing out of my brain stem. Use a cute picture. You know, in your free time.

Let's catch up!

Kimmy

8:54 PM  

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