Monday, August 01, 2005

Just for me!? Umm, thanks. I think.

A silly thing happened to me today, which will give you a very small (not even the tip of the iceberg) glimpse into the eccentricity of my family... My mom bops into my office bearing gifts from her & my dad, w/ what can only be described as a sly grin on her face... I'm immediately told that they saw these "happies", or in the words of Kimpossible/Bob, "perties" (good ol' Southern terminology) & thought of me. Yikes. Those words alone, when spoken by a family member of mine & especially my mom, are enough to tip me off that whatever is coming will no doubt double as some kind of joke @ my expense... And behold, I give you what reminded my parents of sweet little me:

That would be a S.L.U.T.S. ["don't cook....... they have it done!"] Cookbook & some Total Bitch Lotion (which is kind of funny, since I have gifted the "Queen Bitch" lotion to my mom). Cooking is not one of my better skills, so I really don't do it all that often. And I'm not sure if I don't cook much b/c I'm not very good @ it, or if I'm not very good @ it b/c I don't cook much -- like the whole chicken & the egg quandary. I'm not a terrible cook, but I'm no Julia Childs, for sure!!! Plus, I figure if you make something a habit, like cooking dinner, people might actually (gasp!) start to expect it from you. All the time. On a regular basis. Dare I say it, EVERY NIGHT!? Oh, the horror, the horror...

I could have probably benefited from some home ec-type classes b/c I'm completely inept @ that kind of stuff -- sewing, baking, knitting, darning socks, & all kinds of other sexist "1950's housewife"-type activities. I can't even iron clothes decently! There is probably a hidden homemaker somewhere deep down inside of me, but so far, it has stayed cleverly & quietly tucked away... ;)

--> Please pardon the gaudiness of my recent posts... I'm a COLOR addict.


Blogger Kimpossible said...

Hilarious. My parents try to pretend that (a) the words "bitch" and "slut" do not exist, and (b) that I am not both. Oh well, at least they're honest with themselves about things.

I love the color! I would also do it if I weren't always trying to simultaneously type and keep the baby from pushing the computer's on/off button.

BTW ... LOVE your phrase "mechanical tiddy pumping". Must. Use. In. My. Next. Entry. (or in court).

6:32 AM  
Blogger JonP said...

If you think the colored words on the blog are impressive, you should see the nail polish assortment :)

9:17 AM  

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