Friday, September 30, 2005

Wikipedia Therapy

My name is Kelly, and I am a Wikipedia addict. One page leads to another and to another and to another -- a neverending string of links to useless knowledge!!! Beautiful!!! Among some of my more recent finds are listed below (don't ask WHY or HOW I found these -- my train of thought is totally random, complex, unexplainable, and somewhat disturbing):
  • Dogging: Dogging is a British eupemism for having sex in a semi-public place (typically a secluded car park) or watching others doing so. Okay, I went to a park in Munich, Germany one time, and there was this field of naked people laying around in the sun, which I thought was a bit of an odd activity (I was not a participant), but maybe not so much as making a hobby of watching others have sex in parks and cars...
  • Meth Mouth: an informal name for the tooth decay and poor oral health seen in many cases of methamphetamine abuse. The photo here will make you want to become a tweaker yourself, or at least plant a big, wet, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on one...
  • Obesity: Obesity is a condition in which the natural energy reserve of humans or other mammals, which is stored in fat tissue, is expanded far beyond usual levels to the point where it impairs health. Okay, I'll be honest -- the only reason I included this one is because I like the photo of the obese rat at the top of the page. I admit it. But even better, scroll on down the Wikipedia page and get a load (no pun intended) of the pic of the fat guy, under which the caption reads: "An obese man in sunglasses." Uh, no shit. Kinda stating the obvious, don't ya think? He apparently needs to find a "fat admirer" or a "chubby chaser", the latter being the homosexual version of the former. (I kid you not, people, these ARE real terms)
  • Wookiee: a member of a fictional race of hairy bipeds in the Star Wars universe. The most famous Wookiee is Chewbacca, a companion to Han Solo. With a mug shot, no less. And see? I learned something -- I never knew it had 2 e's in the spelling. Then again, I never needed to know, nor do I expect to ever need to know. But if, perchance, someone has a knife to my throat one day and is going to kill me unless I can correctly spell "Wookiee", I will live to see another day. I also now know that female Wookiees have 6 boobs and give birth to live young. Oh, happy day.
  • Gangrene: necrosis and subsequent decay of body tissues caused by infection or thrombosis or lack of blood flow. The pictures here are almost enough to make me change my diet so that I don't become a diabetic like the rest of my family and chance having my pretty little toes (one of which my boyfriend refers to as the "stump" -- don't ask, it's still a raw subject for my delicate ego) turn black and fall off. Almost.
  • Profanity: a word choice or usage which its audience considers to be offensive. (in English, primarily fuck, shit, cunt, nigger, and frequently, bitch, ass/arse and bastard). It might come as a shock to many, but I was NOT a contributing editor to this page, though I easily could have been, dammit. But now, whoever came up with the BurnMeister? Genius, pure fucking genius...


Blogger Ben O. said...

Nice - Ben O.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Makes me want to play that game where you try and convince people that XXX word means something and you are just making it up as you go.

Ben O.

1:16 PM  

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