Actual Letter to a Local School...

I kid you not... I was given a copy of this letter sent to the coach of a local school by a child's parent. The spelling and grammatical errors are just as they appear in the letter. So they are, for lack of a better term, [sic]:

Dear Coach [name withheld],

You have my permission to pattle Jamarco ass. Eerytime he ack up on your bus woop his ass, only you. If you will please give him another chance because I woop his ass yesterday.

Thanks,

[name withheld]