Subject Line.

I know what you're probably thinking: "Doesn't this bitch have anything better to do than post random stuff on her blog all day long?" And the answer is a resounding, "YES!" But, am I doing that other stuff? Eh, part of the time... plus, I spend way too much time trying to upload pictures while Blogger fucks up, making it take eons longer than it should just to complete a freaking post!!! So there.

I just heard a joke that reminded me of a birthday card my friend Kimpossible sent me (same joke, different characters): Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a drink."

This was just too perfect not to rip out of a magazine with the ferociousness of a lion and place strategically on my desk for all to see. Or for at least long enough to take a picture: Now I just need one for those other times when I don't want any responsibility that reads: "Go the Fuck Away -- I'm Not the Boss!" You know, so I can have my cake and eat it, too. (Which is, if you think about it, an utterly stupid expression. Of course you want to eat your damn cake if you have it -- that's the whole point.)

Humphrey the cat dies, but what a life... Humphrey, the "Downing Street Cat" and one-time "mouser-in-chief" has died -- R.I.P., you little furball. According to Britain's Sun newspaper, the "World of Politics Mourns a Legend." However, I could not help but notice that ol' Humph looks eerily similar to my own little ball of fur at home (see below), the ever-prissy and bitchy Dixie Lou... Perhaps a long-lost British relative, shall we say?